Wedding in the Cape

Last weekend was a pretty special one for our family.  My cousin Lizzie got married!!  This past year has been filled with lots of sad times for Liz and family and it was so incredible to have a long weekend filled with so much celebrating and love and happiness.  I don't think I saw Liz without a smile on her face the entire trip.  She was a beaming bride and I'm so happy for her and honored I was able to be a part of her special day.  The wedding was absolutely beautiful and Liz was a stunning bride.  All the details were so wonderful and thoughtful.  Like this cute burlap tote filled to the brim with yummy local cape cod favorites that was handed out to every guest.  

One of the absolute best parts of this entire trip was having my boys and my nephew together.  Cousin love all weekend.  It was like no time had separated them and they had the best time together and were just so cute.  My heart was so full watching them together.  

The rehearsal dinner was amazing.  I have never seen a sunset so pretty in all my life.  We enjoyed the beautiful surroundings and an incredible dinner.  They had whole lobsters for everyone.  It was amaze.  And yummy.  I was in seafood heaven.  

My new favorite picture of me and Brad

Then it was wedding time.  Liz and Scott were married on the beach and of course it was gorgeous in every way. 

Boys killing time before family pictures

 The chupah and aisle were stunning.  Hydrangeas everywhere.  Love.

 

The boys sat in the sand and played (quietly) during the ceremony

 

During the cocktail hour Liz and Scott sailed by as a surprise. It was precious. 

 

   

I truly hope the professional photographer snapped some pictures of the boys dancing.  I unfortunately did not get it on camera or video and it was probably the cutest thing I've ever seen in my entire life.  Brady especially surprised us all by being a dancing fool.  I mean this kid is a born dancer.  Who knew!?  He came out of his shell COMPLETELY and was mimicking everyone's dance moves.  Like I didn't want to eat him up enough already.  What a fun and special weekend!  

Blake's First Day of Kinder

I love this picture.  It kinda captures the moment of my oldest child going off to kindergarten quite well.  The rest of our family's shadows behind my brave and confident boy as he makes his way into the world of "real" school for the first time.  I have been a walking cliche of emotions these last few weeks.  Where does the time go?  They grow up so fast.  Etc. etc.  But it is ALL SO TRUE.  I woke up Monday morning feeling strong and put together.  Feeling proud and ready to send Blake off to kinder.  And then this picture showed up in my inbox from Blake's old gf's mom.

I blinked and Blake went from a little baby, not yet walking, to this kid...a big maturing boy walking ahead of his family, ready for this next chapter in his young life.  And I'm not going to lie, the tears flowed, poured down my face.  Geesh, they really do grow up so fast!  I am of course so proud of having a small hand in the boy Blake is today and am so glad I can watch him grow and learn and develop the skills he will need to be a successful man in this big scary world.  I guess I'm just sad that while the days may be slow at times, each year passes with increasing speed.  And before I know it the tears streaming down my cheeks will be as I get in the car driving away after dropping him at college.  But I will enjoy these moments now.  I will soak up the big giant hugs my big boy gives me at kindergarten pick up every afternoon.  The joy I feel in my heart seeing the smile across his face when he spots me at pickup.  The love I feel for him as he takes my hand to cross the street.  Yes, he's a big boy, but he's still small enough to hold my hand.  So I'll relish in this time, the short time we have in this sweet spot of his life, when he's still small enough to hold my hand and give me hugs in front of others, but big enough to be independent and go off to school all day without me.  Now hand me a kleenex....

And being reunited with his best friend at the end of the day...

End of Summer Emotions

The end of summer is approaching and it has snuck up on me out of no where.  Three weeks and my first born will enter the world of kindergarten.  I’m sure I’ll have many more posts about the start of school and what it all means to me and to Blake and yada yada yada.  It’s a really big deal.  Bigger than I ever thought it really would be.  If you would have asked me five years ago if I thought I’d be all emotional about kindergarten I would have said no.  But now that we are here, in this moment, it has been really affecting me.  But this start of the school year isn’t just a big deal because of kindergarten.  My other baby, the real “baby” of the family, is starting preschool.  And I think I’m equally as emotional and maybe more so about that than Blake’s kindergarten start.  Brady’s first few years of life were rough.  Rough on all of us.  It has affected all four of us in different ways.  Brady might not necessarily remember the endless tests and needles and iv’s and doctor visits and hospital stays, but its sure made him untrusting and fearful of doctors in a major way.  So fearful he doesn’t even trust standing on a scale at a doctor’s office and will gag and throw up from being so upset if you try to make him.  It’s awful.  It breaks my heart.  Brad and I both have scars on our hearts from watching our baby endure all he went through.  From being so so sick for so long.  From the unknowns.  From the stress and the worry of what was wrong, what the future held.  From watching our baby limp in my arms not breathing.  From watching him sleep in a hospital bed.  It has stayed with us.  Brad and I will be lying in bed at night and will hear a cough through the other side of the wall and Brad and I’s hearts fall into our stomachs with fear and then we remember he’s ok.  He’s better now.  We certainly do not think about it every day or hardly at all these days really, since he’s been so incredibly healthy.  But its changed us as parents for sure. 

For the last two and a half (close to it) years I have been at home with my two boys.  Leaving a job I had once loved to try in a sense nurse Brady back to health, to give him a chance to get healthy and stay healthy.  It was a hard choice for many reasons but hands down the best decision we could have made.  Brady has been so healthy and thriving and for that result any of the sacrifices we’ve had to make along the way are completely worth it.  I’ve had these last few years with both my boys at home, spending every day with them.  Some days, some weeks have been hard.  Some days, some weeks have been challenging, but I’m grateful, so truly grateful for that time.  I will never, ever regret it.  But all of that time is what makes my boys leaving me that much harder.  Brady has not left my side pretty much these last few years.  I am his safety net.  I am his comfort.  Having him with me is my safety net, my comfort in a way too.  With me I know he is healthy.  With me I know he is happy.  We are entering the world of the unknowns again.  Will he adjust to being away from me?  Will he be in tears all day?  Will he make friends easily?  Will his health sustain the germs of school?  Will we end up in the place we once were?  Life is full of unknowns, and I have to trust in above and know he will be in great hands. (Just found out he will have same teachers as Blake, YAY!)  We can’t keep Brady in a bubble forever.  I have to learn to let go.  How hard it is though. 

Silver Linings

A few weeks ago I sat in the kitchen in tears, when Brad broke out in laughter at the possibility of me having knee surgery on his birthday.  Just a little over a year after he had surgery on mine. And then that exact thing happened.  

Brad and I had been counting down the days to his birthday.  It was his birthday which was great and exciting in itself, but it also meant we'd be dropping the boys off at my parents house and enjoying the day together and have a really special night planned out together. Just us.  We haven't had a night just us in over three months I think and so it was one of those things that was just...so needed.  But sometimes messy life can get in the way of all the great plans you have.  When I broke the news to Brad that his birthday weekend plans were having to be thrown out and he'd be on nurse duty instead, his reply was "Don't worry about my birthday, we have forever together."  Wow.  I just love this man so much.  I love how he always pulls me back to what is important in life. I had wanted to cry.  But then I realized even with messy life you have chosen to go through life with the most amazing partner and that it doesn't matter if you are at a nice restaurant dining on over priced food and drinks or find yourself in a pre op room of a hospital on a Friday night.  The great benefit (sarcasm) of having a 4:00 surgery time is my doctor was running late from the other surgeries he had performed before mine so surgery was very very delayed.  But the real benefit of surgery being HOURS delayed is time.  I know that makes no sense, but while it was frustrating having to wait and we were ready to get things over with, it was also a blessing.  No, we were not sitting at nice dinner we had planned but that didn't matter.  We were still with each other.  Just us.  And yes, an occasional nurse or doctor, but mostly just us.  We talked and laughed and just felt our love and it was really nice.  You know what else is really nice?  Having that love take the world's greatest care of you ever.  And you know what else is really nice? Having the best parents ever that are there to take the world's greatest care of your boys. What a huge burden to have lifted from me, not having to worry if my boys were okay during all the surgery mess.  That was one thing I didn't even have to question.  So amazing.  We were lucky enough to have them keep the boys Saturday night as well so I could get a little more settled before diving back in the world of parenting.  Brad picked up chinese take out and he set me up on the couch with pillows and my ice/dvt machine and we snuggled and watched a movie.  Wasn't what we had set out for that weekend.  And I certainly wouldn't choose it over the other, but we sure did find the silver linings in the deck of cards we were dealt.  One reason I love being married to Brad, is he's always helping me find the silver linings out of any situation.  

Me before surgery with my good attitude smile even though surgery is so delayed

My leg hooked up to the ice/dvt machine.  I call it my leg ventilator.  Brad calls it my leg Darth Vader mask. That's what it sounds like.  Brad's been a trooper sleeping with this thing on.  Its helping prevent a blood clot.

The boys had a great time over the weekend with Grandma and Papa.  Blake requested putt putt but Papa said it was too hot, so Blake said, "Let's bowl then because that has air conditioning."  So bowling they went of course.  Can't argue with Blake's logic.  

My parents were texting me about the boys cuteness all weekend.  Those boys crack me up!  The boys usually sleep until 7:30 in the morning, sometimes even later.  But on Saturday morning at their house they woke up just after 6.  Brady said the sun was up and it was time to get up.  When my parents said "Your mommy and daddy would have said go back to bed!" They agreed but said, "For Grandma and Papa we just say to get up."  They sure know already how much they have them wrapped around their fingers!!  Then Blake told my parents on Saturday night that he liked spending the night but wouldn't be doing it again for awhile.  It was just too much.  HA!  My parents said how much they like having them spend the night and Brady quickly spoke up that he would spend the night again soon!  And when my dad went into their room to tell them to stop talking and it was time to go to sleep Blake said, "But we have a lot to talk about with each other!!"  Sunday they ended up sleeping in until after 8!  Hooray!  The boys were SO proud of themselves and Blake said he was going to be well rested now for his soccer game later.  Love those two!  
My knee has been recovering well.  A much better and faster recovery than what Brad endured last year. I did have a complication from the anti blood clotting shot I was on however, which was no fun and brought a pricey visit to the urgent care center.  Needless to say I've stopped said shot and am doing much better. Everyone in our house, Darcy included, is ready for me to be back to normal.  Our normal routine is greatly missed.  Home cooked meals are greatly missed.  But everything in due time.  One day as Brad said we'll cross the finish line and we can put all this health crud behind us and just live life.  Sounds delightful.  

Life Lately

A few weeks ago is what will be known in the Jones house as, "The Week of Mario and Luigi".  Blake for some reason thought about their Mario/Luigi costumes from Halloween and asked if we could take them down so he and Brady could dress up in them.  So I did. And they did.  They were obsessed.  They did not want to take them off.  The morning would come and they requested their costumes be put on first thing and would wear them ALL day long. They went to run errands in them.  Went to the park in them.  We went to Grandma and Papa's house in them.  Love these boys so crazy much.

Our dress up fun came to a crashing halt when some minor sniffles the boys had been having turned into some wheezing and trouble breathing well for Brady.  He went downhill so quickly.  We were out running errands in the morning and by the later afternoon Brady was a pile of mush, not able to move he was so weak, getting warm and fell asleep in my arms on the couch, something that never ever ever happens.  While I sure LOVED those sweet Brady cuddles, once I could see him struggling for breaths and starting to wheeze I became alarmed and it was 4:00 the day before the 4th of July holiday.  Thankfully we have a great pediatrician's office and when I explained his symptoms told us to get in the car and come up there immediately.  So relieved we could get Brady set up on his needed meds before they were closed for the holiday.  Brady is a horrible medicine taker.  Its been such a struggle anytime we have to give him medicine. But the bonus of him getting older is his understanding with why he needs the medicine.  The medicine he was prescribed was awful tasting but he would tell US he needed his medicine because he just didn't want to feel sick anymore.  And he took all his breathing treatments like a champ.  I was so proud of him.  I need to write a post dedicated to Brady soon because this kid.  His personality, the things he says....he kills me with his cuteness and I just want to eat him up every second of every day.  

Our 4th was nice but we couldn't all enjoy the day as fully as we normally do since Brady was so sick.  I packed up his breathing machine and a bag full of meds and we all went to my parents house.  Brad swam with Blakers while I stayed inside watching Scooby Doo with Brady.  My dad grilled out and was nice spending the day all together.  We got the boys in their jammies and sat out on their balcony to watch the fireworks show that goes off right next door.  Can't ask for a better seat!

This past week the boys have been doing swimming lessons every day.  They are definitely improving and getting more confident in the water which is so great!  We are continuing on this week and they really look forward to going.  On Friday morning as a nice summer treat for being such awesome boys I took them to see Monsters University.  I was impressed we made it through twenty minutes worth of previews and the entire movie.  Towards the end of the movie Blake whispered, "Momma...thank you so much for taking us to the movie."  Oh my heart.  Totally worth every penny. And when I tucked Brady into bed that night he said his favorite part of the day was the popcorn.  Love.

Looking forward to this coming week with these two cuties and REALLY looking forward to this weekend for my man's birthday and a much needed date night.  WOO WOO!