Mommy Guilt

This post is really nothing more than me babbling my random thoughts, so feel free to click out.  Cute pics and/or stories of the boys will return shortly.  Oh and I have so many recipes to post too.  Eventually.  Like one I made last night... better than take out Chinese. Brad just asked me to marry him all over again after he ate it.  But anyways....


Mommy guilt.  I think this is something all moms experience at one time or another or throughout our entire time of motherhood, or at least I tell myself that so I don't feel so alone in it!  But I've had this mommy guilt since I had Blake.  I had the guilt of being a working mommy and not spending enough time with my baby.  I had guilt that I wasn't just working but enjoyed working and being away from mommy duties.  I had guilt that I would take away love and attention by bringing in another sibling.  I had guilt multiplied being a working mommy and having a baby with so many health issues.  That was probably the biggest one.  I had guilt that it took me so long to make the decision to stay home.  I still have that guilt actually. 
And then my guilt changed once I started staying at home.  Mom guilt over a lot of things, but the biggest one is not enjoying every moment of every day of staying at home.  Wishing away minutes or hours until Brad gets home or until its bed time.  GUILT.  How dare I feel this way?!  How could I possibly not cherish every moment of every day with my sweet boys??  And it makes me so upset with myself.  And I get down.  And think what's wrong with me?  And then I'll have an amazing wonderful day with the boys and it makes me ache inside thinking about them ever starting school and leaving my side.  How could I possibly ever spend a minute or hours away from them?  
I stumbled across this article on the Internet the other day and it was just what I needed to read.  I have actually reread it several times because it just speaks to me.  And it makes me feel like I'm normal and it gave me "permission" to not enjoy the whining or the not listening.  There are plenty of magical moments that make up our days and our weeks and our years that turn those other moments into fuzzy, faded memories.  The magical moments get us through each day and help deal with the not so magical ones.  
And I just have to say, if you read the article (and if you made it this far in this blog post, I hope you do) I love when the author says what she'd say to a mom years from now in the grocery store line.  I think we need people to speak kinder, more encouraging words to moms.  One day a few months back I took just Blake with me to the grocery store on a Saturday morning to get more coffee because no way we can deal without it, and then we were going to head to the donut shop to get everyone breakfast.  Blake saw a display of Krispy Kreme donuts and started throwing a fit because I said we couldn't get them, we were getting different ones.  I dealt with Blake and kept walking and a lady walked up to me and said, "I just wanted to let you know, I saw how you dealt with your son, and I think you handled that so well.  I can tell you are a good mom."  It was the nicest thing a stranger could say at that moment of just dealing with a tantrum in public.  
Anyways, read this article.  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mobileweb/glennon-melton/dont-carpe-diem_b_1206346.html
You'll be glad you did.  And for the record, even though I have days that are long and hard, this stay at home thing is the best decision I've ever made.