The Waiting Game

The last month has been exciting and excruciating at the same time. It was all about the waiting game. I actually didn’t know I was pregnant the first month of my pregnancy which is a huge blessing, as I only had to wait 4 weeks to hear the heartbeat instead of many more. Because I was told I had such a small chance of the baby living long enough to hear the heartbeat I have been living in a state of fear. Yes, I allowed myself to be excited but I couldn’t fully embrace this pregnancy and what it truly meant to be pregnant until I was certain my baby would make it. With every twinge of discomfort or unknown pain my heart would skip a beat. But I put my faith in God, and as days passed became more and more certain this baby was meant to be mine. It became harder to ignore the life growing inside of me; after all I’ve been throwing up almost every single morning! That had to be a good sign!! My almost weekly blood tests to check my levels all came back with very high numbers, which was great and with more and more pregnancy symptoms I just knew this baby was growing and doing what it needed to do. But still, in the back of my mind, the “what if” scenario was playing. What if there is no heartbeat when we go to the doctor? What if I lose this pregnancy?
The night before our doctor appointment I was a nervous, emotional wreck. The morning of the appointment I was still an emotional wreck, if not more so. We played more of the waiting game, waiting an hour after our appointment time to even see the doctor. Brad joked that we should name our baby Patience since I have none.
Finally at 11:00, an hour and a half after our initial appointment time, we were taken back into the sonogram room. The technician was amazing, as I know they have to be in that job, but she couldn’t have been nicer and made the moment more special. I went in expecting I was only barely 7 weeks along, so I thought we’d see a blob on the screen that resembled nothing close to that of a baby, see a heart beating, but not hear it and we’d go on our merry way, at least that was my very hope. I also expected her to find the baby on the screen and take her measurements before allowing us to see, but the screen was pointed directly at Brad and I the entire time. (I even had my own little personal screen!). The second she started we saw a baby appear. Words can not describe how amazing it was to see this little thing on the screen, that was in fact not a blob at all, but our baby. This was my baby, my baby, MY BABY! I wish there was a camera to capture Brad and I’s faces at this moment. We had smiles a mile long on our faces. Brad and I haven’t felt that level of happiness since our wedding day. It was truly an amazing experience. Immediately our little one started moving around. The technician said we had a very active baby and most people aren’t as lucky to see their baby move around this much, this early on. Baby Jonesie waved around its little arms and feet as to say, “See Mom, I’m okay, stop worrying!” Then at the bottom of the screen a wave of heart beat appeared and then the sound of the heart beat. I was not expecting to be able to hear the heart beat so I asked, is that mine or the baby’s??? She said the baby’s!! It was sweet music to my ears. The most wonderful sound! My baby’s heart beating a very strong normal heart beat and every worry I’ve been carrying around left my body. The little one measured at only 32.m (about an inch and a half). It blows my mind that the baby is this small when it looks so much bigger to me on the screen! She told me I am 10 weeks and 5 days and our Little Jonesie will be due on May 15th.
Brad and I now can relax, enjoy this pregnancy (well, fully enjoy once the morning sickness ceases!), and get ready to meet the love of our lives! The waiting game continues, but this waiting game I can handle!

Hi Mom and Dad-


Due Date and Length-


Strong Heartbeat-


Baby Feet-


Hi Grandma and Grandpa-

The Long Road

The last year in the Jones house has been a bit turbulent emotionally to say the least. Its been a year filled with lots of negative pregnancy tests (think of the money wasted), a very emotional Brooke, the loss of a pregnancy, a very emotional Brooke, lots and lots of medical tests with some not so great results, oh and did I mention a very emotional Brooke?
Yes, this past year has been one of the most difficult times in my life, but the lessons I have learned this year have been some of the greatest. I have learned how important faith is and I have certainly reconnected to my own faith. I have learned while some things can be going so wrong, there is still so much to be grateful for. I have truly amazing friends and family, a nice roof over my head, two great dogs and a job I love. Most of all though I have learned so much about my best friend and husband, Brad. You can learn so much about a person and what they’re made of when you’re going through a hard time. Brad has been my rock. He lifts me up when I get down, and at the same time understands that its okay to feel down sometimes and lets me feel those emotions too. He is my constant state of positive though and stayed strong enough at times for the both of us and for that I am eternally grateful.
So now the long road has led us to the most unbelievable place…PREGNANCY! I still at times can’t believe it’s true. A specialist we saw only two days after I took a home pregnancy test (took 8 weeks to get in his office, so wasn’t canceling that appointment!) told us we had a 15% chance of conceiving (well it seems we jumped that hurdle) and if we did become pregnant, it was almost a guarantee of a miscarriage. He said of course God willing this pregnancy will make it, but if not, our best option of pregnancy without a miscarriage would be a special form of IVF, costing somewhere around $14,000. Oh what wonderful news. But none of that could really matter to me at the time. In fact I was sitting in his office pregnant and I had to hold on tight to that fact. Actually I’ve had 2 pregnancies in one year when he was telling me I only had a 15% chance of one. Miracles happen all the time that laugh in science’s face. This baby is my miracle. As one of my best friends told me, this baby knows how much it is loved, even before he or she was conceived and it is going to do everything in its power to hold on to meet us.
I have known since I was a very little girl that when I grew up I was going to be a mom. It was the one certainty that has always been there for me. I was blessed enough to find Brad to be my husband and the father of my future children. I couldn’t think of anyone in the world I’d rather have a family with. We tried to do it the right way….waiting several years into our marriage to build stability and enjoy our time as just husband and wife. So when Brad told me he was ready, it was the happiest time in my life. Its funny how you spend so much time worrying and preventing pregnancy and then when you finally want it, it’s so hard to achieve it. But I am now so much more grateful for this baby growing inside me because of the road we took to get here. I feel like I will love this baby that much more for what we went through to have them. I feel it will make me that much more of a better mommy and now sitting here pregnant its easy to say all of the adversity we faced to get here was well worth it and yes, I’d go through it all again.