Labor, Deliver and 1st Week with Baby

I have to admit, as much as I was complaining that baby would not come, it was kind of nice that he waited to the induction date because in true Brooke fashion I was able to go into the delivery of our little one having organized everything...hospital bags packed, house picked up and ready for our homecoming, last minute errands ran and a last meal with hubby before baby. We got to the hospital at around 7:30 and was hooked up to iv's and evaluated where they told me I had dilated another centimeter which was exciting. I got the pitocin and quickly after the doctor broke my water. Once that happened the progress of my labor was very quick. The contraction intensity multiplied tremendously and finally when the pain level became unbearable an epidural was ordered and after that I felt like a million bucks. At 2:00 I was told I was ready to start pushing. This is where things became really hard. I pushed for 2 long hours and was completely exhausted and didn't know how I could continue on. I was finding it hard to push the "right way" because I was pretty numb from the epidural. So they turned down my pain drip to allow me to feel the pushing. I think this might have been the worst idea ever. I know it was probably needed, but man alive! I pushed after that for another long exhausting hour at which point the doctor decided the baby's head was too large to get past with pushing alone and would need the help of forceps. This caused me to bawl as I was very scared of the forceps, but once the doctor had them in place Blake Logan Jones was born within minutes. It was the happiest moment of my life. They placed Blake on my chest and it was love at first site. 7 pounds 12.5 ounces and 20 inches long. He was perfect. He is still perfect! Where was Brad through all of this? By my side being the most amazing support. There aren't words to describe how amazing he was during my labor and how grateful I am for his support. I have so much love for Blake but my love for Brad has also grown exponentially. The support he's given me, to see him holding Blake and the love he has for his new son fills me with so much love for him.
It felt great to finally leave the hospital after being couped up in the same room for two days and to get back to our own home, in our own space. We decided to have my mom stay with us which we weren't originally planning on, but we felt a little overwhelmed and having her here with us for the past week, wasn't only appreciated but was completely needed. We had a rough start. I won't go into details but I was very sick and in a lot of pain and Blake had jaundice and had to go back to the hospital 3 days in a row to get his levels checked. It was a stressful and painful few days and between my mom and Brad, Blake was at least being able to be taken care of. I am so grateful to have had my mom here and don't know how I could have gotten through this time without her. Today was the fist day without mom here and at first I was scared, but I soon realized I am very capable of this motherhood business and now that I'm feeling better, I don't need the constant crutch of someone else here. Yes, I am sure at times I will still feel overwhelmed and things won't always be easy, but I can do this and with Brad and I working as I team we will do a great job at this.
I look at my son, holding him in my arms and all of the pain and tiredness is so completely worth it. He is amazing and perfect and I am so blessed to have him in my life. I want to soak every second with him in as I know time will pass by entirely way too fast. Blake really is my little miracle.

Baby Day!

I should be sleeping, as its the last guaranteed night of uninterrupted sleep I am going to have for quite some time, but I have butterflies in my stomach and a million thoughts running through my head. Today my son will be born, how can I possibly sleep?! I can't help but look back at the journey that has led me to this moment. There were struggles to get pregnant and my pregnancy wasn't always easy, but the love I've had for this child even before he was conceived has always carried me through. The support of Brad has carried me through as well. Our last night as just a couple was really special and I'm grateful we were able to have some good quality time together. We have so much love for each other and so much love to give our son and I feel at peace knowing we are bringing him into such a loving home.
My nerves I have today are because I above all want a healthy baby. But I am also nervous about the labor. I am hopeful because I am already so dilated that it will move quickly and won't be with complications. Brad will be by my side though so I know he will help me through any pain or scary moments.
I am so blessed to be at this moment in my life. I am so ready to meet my son and am so ready to take on my next role in life...Mom.