2 Months

Its hard to believe 2 months have passed since Blake Logan entered the world yet somehow it feels May 7th was forever ago. The pain of labor and recovery is a blur. I think that is nature taking its course...letting me forget those memories so that I will want to have more children one day. Blake has been such a joy and brought even more love into our home. I can't help but think of those Johnson & Johnson commercials..."Having a baby changes everything". It is something you know is true before you have children but don't completely understand until you hold your baby for the first time.
I have loved spending the last two months at home with Blake. It is time I will always treasure. Monday was my first full day back into the real world (work) and Blake's first day at daycare. This week has been way harder on me as Blake seems to be totally unphased by his new surroundings during the day and has gotten a glowing report each day. I on the otherhand, am thinking about him constantly throughout the day, terrified he is crying and I won't be there to comfort him. Sad that I'm not there to feed him and sing to him and love on him. Sad that I may miss some of his first milestones. I love my job...I love what I do and the people I work with. But it is most definitely a no win situation. I'd probably regret the decision to stay home full time and long for the days of adult interaction, but the decision to stay at work currently fills me with sadness and guilt. Its the guilt of a working mom and while I know it may get easier with the coming weeks, it is something I know that will always be there. For now, I try to focus on the positives...We found an amazing day care that I could go on and on about and I know Blake is in great hands there and will be socialized and worked with developmentally and that is great.
Blake is already such a big boy and of course I think is the best looking and smartest baby ever born! He is starting to smile which when he smiles at you is probably the best feeling ever, lifts his head up, stands up with just the help to balance him and is cooing up a storm and has long conversations with me and his daddy. Blake went for his 2 month checkup yesterday and is weighing in at 12 lbs 11.5 oz and is 23 1/2 inches long. According to the doctor he is just perfect and I tend to agree!
Blake has made being new parents so easy and we feel so blessed to have such a good baby. I also feel blessed to have the most amazing partner through all of this. Brad is such an amazing dad and husband. The love he has for Blake is endless and the support he has given me through all of this has been absolutely amazing. I didn't think it was possible but my love for Brad has grown leaps and bounds since Blake was born.
I love our new family, am enjoying each moment, storing all the precious memories away and am so excited to see what each new day will bring.