Family Fun Day - Pumpkin Patch

I decided that I was over just laying around the house all day every day and I desperately needed to put "real" clothes on and run a brush through my hair and experience life with my boys.  Something I haven't done in a MONTH.  So, I willed myself to suck it up and we gathered Grandma and Papa and headed to the pumpkin patch.  I had sworn I'd NEVER EVER go back to the pumpkin patch by our house after last year's epic drama with Brady's party, but the things you do for your children.  Its the best pumpkin patch closest to us, so....

What a perfect fall day.  The weather was so great, and the boys were in heaven.  I think Blake's favorite was the hay maze. Notice the look of determination on his face to figure it out in these pics.

Both boys also loved the slide, although this was definitely Brady's favorite.

And there was the petting zoo which both boys enjoyed.  

Unfortunately, I didn't get any pictures from our hay ride, but the boys loved it.  And we picked out two pumpkins and will have fun watching Brad carve them today! I'm so completely worn out but it was so completely worth it.  And its Sunday which means I can spend all day laying on the couch!  Nothing better than a family fun day!

Absence

It feels weird when I'm away from this space for this long.  I really enjoy keeping up with the blog for friends and family, but mostly for me...So I have our family journal to look back on.  But, I've been sick.  FOR THE ENTIRE MONTH OF OCTOBER.  My days and weeks have been FILLED to the brim with doctors visits and tests and more sticks in my arm for blood tests than I think should be allowed.  Its been a really frustrating month.  Frustrating because we were waiting for a medical answer to explain weeks of fever and pain and fatigue and abnormal labs.  Frustrating because I've had to lay on the couch or in bed and watch as life passed me by.  I could not cook or clean (I know that sounds so horrible) but when you can't do it, it really can drive you quite mad.  I can not be a wife.  I can not be a mom.  I have grown so tired of telling my boys that mommy can't do x or y because mommy doesn't feel well.  I am pretty certain they have grown tired of hearing that.  They are constantly saying they want mommy to feel better.  Which breaks my heart and makes it full all at the same time, if that is even possible.  Brad has had to juggle work and helping care for the boys and the house and me all at the same time, which is quite stressful and makes me feel so guilty I can't help more.  Thankfully he had his mom in town for a lot of the month to help him with meals and the boys, but its still been very hard for him.  I've hated missing family outings and soccer games.  Not getting to see my Blakers' score his goals.  Mommy guilt to the max.  I spent a night in the hospital and while I was grateful to be finally getting answers and doctors actually willing to put their heads together to help me, the feeling of not knowing how long you'd be spending nights away from your babies and husband is very sad.  Thankfully it was a quick adventure and I was home before I knew it.  If you could have witnessed the greeting my Brady gave me when I came home Friday evening, your heart would have melted to absolute mush.  I still have a bit before I'm feeling strong and healthy but grateful my diagnosis is nothing more serious and know things will be back to normal, whatever that means, soon. 
I will have to backtrack at some point and post about Brady's birthday party.  I think that is the extent of blog worthy posts since there hasn't been too much picture taking or excitement going on.  
There has been one very significant milestone this month however, we are FINALLY, OFFICIALLY a pacifier free household.  I know Brady is three for petes sake, but he LOVED his paci.  It soothed him so much, especially when sleeping and I was just DREADING the whole taking away thing.  But we happened to lose it and not have a back up and I didn't feel well enough to go to the store to get one and Brad had his hands full so we just told Brady it was lost.  There was not a single tear shred.  There have been no sleepless nights.  MIRACLE.  He asked for it several times for several days but for the last two days hasn't asked for it once.  Its been over a week now. What a blessing how easy that was.  
I'm sure the posts will still be few and far between around here over the next few weeks as I still try to juggle two kids, school activities, Halloween fun, doctor appointments, doctor appointments and more doctor appointments, all while trying to get my health and energy back.  Its hard.  It will be hard, but we'll get through it.  I have this face on the bed bringing me "candy" in a Halloween bucket while I lay in bed right now to "make mommy better." 

And I have this face next to the bed doing the same thing...

So, yeah, I'll be just fine.  

Happy Birthday Brady - Brady's Birthday Letter

At this time three years ago, we were in major excitement mode.  I had woken up to my water breaking and we knew that day would be the day we got to meet our second son.  We hustled to get our bag packed and Blake's bag packed and dropped him off to school and at this time three years ago (8:40am) we were arriving at the hospital.  And then about six hours later we welcomed Brady Austin to our family.  What a blessing this baby boy has been to our lives.  

Dear Brady,

Happy Third Birthday my Bray-bray, doodle, boo boo, cookie monster.  This last year has flown by in a blink of an eye.  It really does feel like yesterday I was sitting down writing your second birthday letter.  You have continued to be the biggest sunshine in our lives.  You are full of joy.  Its infectious and even when I am in no mood to smile, your zest for life inevitably brings me back to what is most important…my family, my boys, and the corners of my mouth start to rise.  This past year has by far been my favorite year with you.  We had one hospital stay right after your second birthday.  That was a horrible, horrible few days that we had.  BUT, aside from that, you have been oh so healthy.  The stress level worrying about you has been significantly less this past year…what a blessing.  You’ve been flourishing and growing; albeit slowly, but growing none the less.  Oh, how I wish you could just really start packing on the pounds.  BUT, I will take healthy and happy over that stuff any day.  The hell we’ve gone through in your short life Brady, with your health… the many sick days, the many tests, the many doctor visits, the hospital stays, the sleepless nights… as long as we can have that behind us, I know the rest with your weight will come in time.  You are the biggest love.  You dish out kisses and hugs and snuggles and I love you’s to everyone in our family often.  Your cuteness is ridiculous.  You are the cutest ever.  I want to squeeze you all day every day because I just can’t stand the cute you are!!  You adore your big brother.  You love to echo everything he says.  And you love to do everything he does.  And he adores you right back.  You also have a very independent streak.  Every so often you insist on doing things on your own or playing the game YOU want to play.  You can be quite the stubborn one, but most often you are my easy going guy.  You can throw a tantrum from time to time, but you have definitely not had the typical terrible two’s phase.  You have become extremely attached to me and your dad.  And you alternate between only wanting me to help you with stuff or only wanting your dad.  You become very stubborn and won’t let any one…not an aunt, uncle, grandma, papa, help you or hold you.  It can be frustrating at times, but I know it’s a phase.  Everything you’ve gone through, all the poking and prodding, I don’t blame you for wanting your mom and dad close.  I’m happy to soak up this time with you.  In a minute you’ll be saying my kisses are gross and to stop trying to hold your hand.  So now, while you want everything in this world to do with your momma, I am more than happy to be there for you baby. 

You still have a love affair with nilla wafers.  Something that started when you were about a year old.  You must have nilla wafers as soon as you wake up every morning as an appetizer to breakfast.  You have started calling yourself cookie monster, which is quite comical.  You love beans.  You want them at every meal.  You definitely love to eat. 

You love coloring and painting.  You love playing with cars and trucks.  You love playing Mario Cart and boxing on the Wii.  Its also quite comical because you are an absolute rock star on the boxing game.  No one in our family can beat you, not even your daddy, who is a video game expert.  And he seriously tries.  And he seriously gets frustrated when he loses time after time against you.  So does your brother. 

Brady, I can’t imagine our family without you.  You bring endless joy and love to your entire family.  Watching you grow, especially this past year as you’ve really started to learn and develop is one of the best things in life.  I can’t wait to see what this coming year as a big three year old has in store for you.  Remember always how much I love you.  Your daddy and I always say, “I love you love you” to each other because one just doesn’t seem enough.  So, Brady, I love you love you!!  I hope you have the best birthday.