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Brady has sure had to endure a lot in his short few months since he's been out in the world. Sickies and a visit to the hospital to get an i.v. and now another trip to the hospital to have two tests performed. He is such a trooper and totally deserves a cookie. If he were old enough and didn't have eating issues, I'd definitely give him one.
If the test was going to go anywhere close to how the registration went at the hospital, I was going to lose it. The woman checking us in, was "filling in" from another floor she kept saying and she kept apologizing for her lack of understanding of this floor's check-in procedures. When she first saw us, she said you're the patient??? Evidently she couldn't find our reservation and was expecting a Charles B. Jones who was born in 1940. She kept saying,"So this isn't Charles? Well, of course that isn't Charles, he clearly wasn't born in 1940." Really lady?? She finally got help. I thought that was a good idea.
Anyways, first up was the swallow test. I was a little worried Brady wouldn't cooperate in swallowing the bottle with barium, but he was pretty hungry and no issues. The test showed what the pulmonologist had suspected...Brady is aspirating while he eats. AKA, swallowing incorrectly, allowing formula into his lungs. Not good. No wonder the little guy had stopped wanting to eat, has a horrible cough and fluid in his lungs. The good news is he is able to swallow properly when the formula is thickened with the gooey goo. Solution...keep thickening his bottles with gooey goo. We will have another swallow study done in three months to see if he has hopefully outgrown this issue. Fingers crossed.
Next up...chest x-ray. If anyone has had a baby have a chest x-ray, am I right that it looks like something out of Total Recall or something? Crazy how they make him sit in that little contraption. The technician said he got some good pictures of his chest. I told Brady that was good since he missed his class photo at school this morning he could have chest pictures instead. I have not heard the results on the chest x-ray and should hear in the morning. Fingers crossed again.
I hate that Brady is having to endure any of this but beyond grateful it is a problem that is treatable, beyond relieved we have finally found the root of Brady's issues. No more constant heart ache of not knowing what is wrong with my precious boy. I kind of want to shoot the pediatrician in the head for being such a jerk. And want to give the pulmonologist a big kiss on the cheek. Don't worry, not going to do either.
Now we can put this behind for awhile (well after the chest x-ray results) and Brady and I can hop on a plane to the Windy City to see two of my favorite people and celebrate the arrival of my soon to be nephew. I can't wait!!!
The weight on my shoulders has just been lifted...a lot. I have been worried sick about my little Bray-Bray (Brad came up with that nick name). He's had reflux issues since birth and a chronic cough since he had bronchiolitis in December. He's had some major feeding issues over the last week or two and I've been reduced to tears this past week on several occasions because he refused to eat or wouldn't keep down what he did eat and I was so worried. What was worse is my pediatrician whom I have always loved was really making me upset with his lack of concern. Always trust your mommy instincts. I have always known this to be true, but when the doctor keeps trying to brush aside your concerns you sometimes push your inner voice to the side to listen to the professionals. After he saw us on Friday he finally sent us to see a pulmonologist. I wasn't so sure this was the direction we needed to be going for his feeding issues, but on that point my doctor was right on. Here is a low down on my poor little Brady and what we're doing to get him back to 100%....
-He feels Brady is getting some of the formula he is swallowing into his lungs, causing issues with his feeds and also causing the chronic cough issues.
-His lungs/chest sound bad and are filled with fluid built up from the last several months.
-He wants to make sure his lungs get cleaned out very well so is on a steroid for the next two days to get cleaned out. Also, when you have fluid sitting on your chest for a prolonged period of time, it can turn into bacteria so prescribed a course of antibiotics to take over the next 10 days to prevent any of this from turning into bacteria infection.
-Increasing the breathing treatments in frequency and the medicine we are using for them for three weeks, when we'll go back for a follow up visit to re-evaluate.
For the feeding issues:
-Does not like the cereal for thickening feedings because can clump up, having to cut open nipple, causing too quick a flow. Had to get some sort of gel (yummy) from a specialty pharmacy to thicken the feedings instead. He feels this should help a great deal
-He has ordered a swallow study to be done. (where he'll swallow barium, at different thicknesses to figure out what's going on)
-Same day he'll have swallow study, he'll also have a chest x-ray done to make sure nothing more serious going on there.
A LOT of information was taken in today. They are having to get insurance to approve procedure and then schedule the study with the hospital. They are putting a "rush" order on this in hopes to get it done by end of the week. If for some reason they can't get him in for the swallow study this week, they definitely want me to have chest x-ray done this week. My guess is both will be done Friday and if not, will have to at least do chest x-ray Friday.
He has been cleared to get on a plane with mommy Saturday as we had planned, so I'm also really relieved about that. I am hopeful we are well on our way to having a healthy family of four again! Brady is such a trooper. I am so blessed to have been given such amazing boys and even though Brady is going through all of this he is full of smiles, giggles and coo's. I can't imagine how happy he'll be when he's feeling better. Nothing helps getting through these rough patches like Brady's big, heart melting smiles. That, and today Blake told mommy, "Have a good day!" as he left with Brad to school. Um, my heart melted....
I think someone needs to drop a Lysol bomb down on our house! I'm pretty sure since December, the boys have passed congestion and coughs back and forth to each other, with it occasionally being thrown Brad and I's direction as well. Blake got a bad case of it starting Saturday and with Blake its always extra bad since he throws up when he gets coughing fits. So not fun. We're very ready for everyone to be healthy in our house. I've also been spending lots of time stressing out about Brady's eating issues. He has not been eating as much as he should and with his weight already on the low side of where he should be, because of losing weight while he was so sick last month, I am extra worried. I'm documenting each feeding so I can keep track for the doctor and have an appointment to take him in on Thursday to make sure his weight is progressing as it should. Fingers crossed....
We enjoyed having our already long weekend (President's Day holiday) extended from the record snow here in Dallas on Friday. Blake stood in one spot on the driveway while Brad built a snowman :). As soon as I can get the pictures off Brad's phone, I'll post some of the daddy/son fun in the snow. Too cute.
I also have to share Blake's latest funny tale.... We have waffles on the weekends for breakfast and we always say what everything is to teach him more words and he's started saying waffles and says it very clearly, but syrup? Well that comes out s-h-i-t. Blake says "shit, shit shit!" We try our HARDEST not to laugh and say, "SYRUP, SYRUP, SYRUP!". I guess we won't be taking Blake to an IHOP anytime soon.
Through the sickies we all enjoyed spending our Valentines together as a family and Blake and Brady both made us the sweetest valentines at school. Totally made my day. AND Brad made me a manicure/pedicure appointment and sent me on my way while he watched the boys. Such a treat!
And to end the most random post ever, I got an amazing call from my mom today. After being denied onto the transplant list, one of her doctors wrote the committee a letter of appeal, and she got a call today that she's been added to the list! Oh happy day!
"Me Time" is a luxury that dwindled significantly when I had Mr. Blake and something that went away all together since I've had Brady. Don't get me wrong though, I'm not complaining. Being a mom is what I've wanted my whole life and I gladly give that up. From time to time though, when Brad would leave for a hockey game, I'd have a twinge of jealousy. It sounded so great to get that little bit of time every week to do something I was passionate about and have that me time. So when the opportunity presented itself this past week for me to have that, I jumped on it and Brad was completely supportive of it.
I figure skated competitively when I was very little and being on the ice has always been a passion of mine. Its hard to put into words how I feel gliding across the ice, but its magical to me. Brad grew up playing hockey and has the same passion about being on the ice and something we very much have in common and something that's always brought us closer to one another. Our love for hockey and skating introduced us to an amazing group of friends that we met while I worked for the Dallas Stars. That amazing group of friends convinced me to play hockey myself. Now, I am very much a girly girl (despite my lack of love for shopping) and so I had to be heavily convinced to strap on those pair of hockey skates and put on hockey gear. But the first time I played I fell in love. Our group of friends played on a team for several years before any of us girls started getting preggers and it was some of the funnest, most memorable years of my life. Its hard when you are so passionate about something, like skating is to me, to give it up entirely. One of our friends, who was the goalie on our prior hockey team, recently joined a new team and asked my good friends Heather, Tracey and I to join. And even though there are 6, yes 6, kids between the three of us, we all were in. (And our awesome hubby's were in for kid watching duty).
Last night was our first scrimmage and my first time to step foot on the ice in over three years. As the day wore on, I became increasingly nervous. Could I still skate? Still play hockey? Could I go through all of this without my biggest cheerleader (Brad) there to hold my hand through it all? But as soon as I started lacing up my skates, the nerves left, the excitement of getting to experience my passion took over. As soon as I stepped foot on the ice, that magical feeling came rushing through and I am willing to bet I had a grin on my face ear to ear. Skating, so it seems, is like riding a bike. It is in my blood I suppose. The hockey part? Its a little more rusty, but it will get better with time. The only rough part of this whole experience is realizing how out of shape I am. Seriously out of shape. I have muscles sore today I forgot I had. Reliving my passion though makes it completely worth it.
Where does the time go??? I now have 21 and 4 month old boys.
Blake becomes more and more a big boy every day. He is saying fewer of his "gibberish" and saying more and more real words. He loves to repeat everything we say. He's such a little sponge right now just soaking everything in. He loves having conversations with Brad and I while we explain the "ways of the world". If he is throwing a fit, I can start talking to him about traffic lights or what the post office is and he stops crying and just listens intently trying to learn everything I'm saying! I love that about him. He is almost always full of smiles and full of personality. He has adapted to being a big brother better than I could have ever imagined. He loves his baby brother always giving him kisses and hugs and helping by bringing him his blanket or pacifier. He fills Brad and I's days with endless joy. His favorite word at the moment...Awesome! He is able to swing on the "big boy" swings at the park. He also is just now showing interest in what the potty is so there is some potty training getting ready to start over here. Not sure I'm looking so forward to that!
Here is a picture of him trying to play in Brady's exersaucer. He doesn't understand he doesn't really fit in his old toys anymore now that we've pulled them back out for Brady! He is holding a link of markers Brad connected for him which he thought was the coolest thing in the world! He is one silly little man!
Even though Brady has had it rough lately with the sickies, he is one smiley, happy boy! Seeing his sweet smile early in the morning really makes the no sleep thing bearable. He loves cooing and smiling and is for the post part a really easy going little boy. If he gets upset though, he gets REALLY upset. Thankfully those moments are far and few between. Brady is also super strong. Even Brady's teachers comment almost daily on how strong he is. If he is sitting in the bouncy seat he can lift up his whole body. He has rolled over from his back to his stomach twice and this past week he held his own bottle at school...with one hand! I think he's on a race to catch up to Blake so he can run around and play with him! I know I've complained a lot lately about being so run down, but these boys really do make it all worth it! 
Brady's 4 month check up will be next week so hopefully he'll get a glowing report!
I hate to shop. I am seriously not like most girls out there that live to shop. I would most of the time rather do almost anything else instead of shopping. I have to be in a certain mood to shop and even then I'm on a rather short time frame until I hit a wall and if I don't get out of the store at that very moment I'm likely to throw a temper tantrum. Okay, not to that extreme. But one time, while Brad and I were shopping, I had hit that wall. I was sitting on a chair in a department store with a look on my face that expressed just how strongly I did not want to be there while Brad shopped for shoes. A man said to me, "Isn't it supposed to be the other way around???" The other part that comes in to play of my hate for shopping is in order to shop, you have to spend money. I HATE spending money on myself. I'll spend money on others gladly, but when it comes to myself I become filled with guilt and it takes any enjoyment out of that new shirt completely away and is just not worth it. So, as you can imagine, due to this hatred of shopping, my closet is filled to the brim with old clothes. And when I say old, I mean old. Like I still have clothes in my closet from my junior high days. High school would be bad enough, but I swear there are a few pieces out there from junior high. And I may or may not wear them still. The only few pieces of new-ish clothes are from my mother-in-law taking me shopping or receiving gift cards to clothing stores for birthday or Chanukah from my loved ones. Every morning getting dressed is completely depressing. Brad would be a rich man if he had a nickel for every time he heard "I have nothing to wear!" So I decided it was high time to purge my closet and make an inventory of essential pieces needed for my wardrobe. Brad was able to entertain both boys this morning giving me the time to clean out the closet. It was such a wonderful feeling to see all those old icky clothes be put away into bags and my closet looking much more "clean". Here is a picture of all the clothes loaded up and all the extra hangers I now have!!
I even managed to put all of the clothes Brady has outgrown into a bag to send to my nephew who will make his entrance into the world in about 2 months. I did all of that, loaded the family up in the car to run an errand, eat lunch and get Blake down for his nap, all before 1:00. I LOVE productive days like this. It is such a high for me. Now, this afternoon when Blake wakes up from his nap, we'll hit the mall in an attempt to replenish my closet. Knowing me though, we'll leave with clothes for everyone in the family but me.
The last month has been realllly rough. And yes, I think that called for an extra two l's. Brady had given me a taste of sleeping through the night and it was like seriously the greatest gift ever. Then RSV came into our house like one of those really pesky house guests you can't seem to get to leave. Brady started getting closer to feeling like his ol' self last week and I could see that light at the end of the tunnel hoping as he gained back some of the weight he lost while he was sick, he'd start sleeping better at night again. Then his cough and congestion returned on Saturday. No break being caught around here.
Here is an example of how a typical night lately goes... (and in case you were wondering I am still Brady's sole food supplier, so it is my responsibility to get up with him). I go to sleep at around 10:30, Brady wakes up at 11:30, eats, goes back to sleep. Brady wakes up at 2:30, eats, goes back to sleep. Brady wakes up 5, give pacifier hoping he'll go back to sleep. Cries off and on before I finally get up and feed him at 5:30 and then up for the day. I then leave the house at around 7am, work all day, get home by 6. I am completely and utterly worn down. I am sick of the boys being sick. Dealing with all of the not so great things life can throw your way when you are worn down to the max, is very hard. Brad and I both yesterday after his car had a flat tire and a flat spare tire were starting to throw pity parties for ourselves. On the way home from picking up the boys from school last night as Brady was screaming his lungs out because he was hungry, which in turn caused Blake to scream his lungs out, allllllll the way home, I was close to tears. Why? Why can't things go our way? Then as Brad and I talked over a much needed alcoholic beverage after the boys were both asleep we calmed down and found a bit of much needed perspective. Yes, we have a lot of little things compounded on top of each other, making life seem rough at the moment, but we have no major woes and are extremely blessed. I thought of my mom dealing with kidney failure, diabetes and muscular dystrophy all rolled up in one awesome package, my dad that has to be her support day in and day out through that, my boss going through breast cancer who just found out its spread and on a larger scale, the people in Haiti and what they are going through. I have an amazing husband, amazing sons, a roof over my head and jobs to provide for our family. Aside from the minor sickies in our house, we have our health. We are blessed. Sometimes I need to remember to slow down, look at the big picture and gain some perspective.
But I won't lie, I pray nightly that I'll be allowed a little more sleep!
And if I ever need a smile brought to my face I just look at my sweet boys. Here are a few pictures Brad took with his camera phone in the dark, so a little hard to see, but too sweet not to share. More pictures and updates on the boys' latest soon as they turn 4 months and 21 months this week! 
