Perspective

The last month has been realllly rough. And yes, I think that called for an extra two l's. Brady had given me a taste of sleeping through the night and it was like seriously the greatest gift ever. Then RSV came into our house like one of those really pesky house guests you can't seem to get to leave. Brady started getting closer to feeling like his ol' self last week and I could see that light at the end of the tunnel hoping as he gained back some of the weight he lost while he was sick, he'd start sleeping better at night again. Then his cough and congestion returned on Saturday. No break being caught around here.
Here is an example of how a typical night lately goes... (and in case you were wondering I am still Brady's sole food supplier, so it is my responsibility to get up with him). I go to sleep at around 10:30, Brady wakes up at 11:30, eats, goes back to sleep. Brady wakes up at 2:30, eats, goes back to sleep. Brady wakes up 5, give pacifier hoping he'll go back to sleep. Cries off and on before I finally get up and feed him at 5:30 and then up for the day. I then leave the house at around 7am, work all day, get home by 6. I am completely and utterly worn down. I am sick of the boys being sick. Dealing with all of the not so great things life can throw your way when you are worn down to the max, is very hard. Brad and I both yesterday after his car had a flat tire and a flat spare tire were starting to throw pity parties for ourselves. On the way home from picking up the boys from school last night as Brady was screaming his lungs out because he was hungry, which in turn caused Blake to scream his lungs out, allllllll the way home, I was close to tears. Why? Why can't things go our way? Then as Brad and I talked over a much needed alcoholic beverage after the boys were both asleep we calmed down and found a bit of much needed perspective. Yes, we have a lot of little things compounded on top of each other, making life seem rough at the moment, but we have no major woes and are extremely blessed. I thought of my mom dealing with kidney failure, diabetes and muscular dystrophy all rolled up in one awesome package, my dad that has to be her support day in and day out through that, my boss going through breast cancer who just found out its spread and on a larger scale, the people in Haiti and what they are going through. I have an amazing husband, amazing sons, a roof over my head and jobs to provide for our family. Aside from the minor sickies in our house, we have our health. We are blessed. Sometimes I need to remember to slow down, look at the big picture and gain some perspective.
But I won't lie, I pray nightly that I'll be allowed a little more sleep!
And if I ever need a smile brought to my face I just look at my sweet boys. Here are a few pictures Brad took with his camera phone in the dark, so a little hard to see, but too sweet not to share. More pictures and updates on the boys' latest soon as they turn 4 months and 21 months this week!