What are the odds??

*pre-reading disclaimer: I am not pregnant*  As Brad and I were trying to get pregnant with Blake and it just wasn't happening and we suffered a miscarriage and we were told our odds of getting pregnant the "good ole fashioned way" were pretty slim to none, I had lots of highs and lows.  I would find myself realllly down, just feeding the negativity.  And then I'd get to the extreme opposite end of things and start trying to be "ok" with what life would be like without kids.  We can travel!  We'll have so much time to just be with each other!  I'll focus on me and finally get a body I'm happy with!  So, I signed up for a boot camp at my work and got out of bed at 4am so I could be at my office by 5 for one heck of a crazy intense work out.  And for anyone that knows me in the slightest, me waking up at 4am???  HA!  I am the epitome of NOT a morning person!  And for working out?!  But, I was committed to this new life of mine (one where I couldn't have kids, so I thought) so, there I was waking at 4am.  And after a week, maybe two weeks?  I started feeling really awful after the workouts.  Instead of that "high" one feels after a really great workout, I felt NAUSEOUS.  Like, soooo nauseous.  I felt light headed.  I just felt icky.  And finally when I was so incredibly sick one Sunday morning at 5am, I decided to take a pregnancy test even though I couldn't possibly be pregnant.  And there on the digital pee stick was the word 'pregnant' and I of course was the happiest person on the planet.  And there ended my journey of the perfect body.  And then came Mr. Blake.  And then at around month 7 of Blake's little baby life, we decided we'd stop being "careful" so we could have years to try and get pregnant the "good ole fashioned way" and not STRESS about it.  And shortly after that I decided to join a gym and get the perfect body before my next pregnancy.  And then God decided to laugh at me.  And one or two weeks into my new gym membership I started with that icky feeling and on the way home from a workout bought a pregnancy test and yup...pregnant.  Don't get me wrong, I'd GLADLY a million times over trade "the perfect body" for my two best gifts of life ever, but, its just so funny how timing works out sometimes.  

Enter present day.  I mentioned a few posts ago that I started a very part time job.  Through a mom friend of mine I learned of an opportunity at a really awesome gym just down the street from us that I could work at a few hours a week, bring the boys with me while I work if I need to, get a few extra dollars in my pocket and get a free membership!  Sign me up!  My workout routine over the last few years has been pretty inconsistent.  But, for the last few weeks I have worked out pretty much six out of seven days of the week.  I've been feeling the best I've ever felt.  I've been training to run three miles without stopping so I could do a 5k race in the fall.  I was making really awesome progress.  And the biggest thing?  MY PAIN HAS BEEN PRETTY MUCH NON EXISTENT.  Even with the medicine I had been put on recently, I was having some pretty bad days, but since I started working out, I have been feeling so good!  I joked at dinner just this last week with a few of my best girl friends that I was kind of waiting for me to get pregnant even though I am taking precautions, just because of course that would happen!  Nope, not pregnant, but I did have something else happen that would prevent me from hitting the gym.  Knee injury.  From hockey.  Ugh.  

After EVERYTHING we went through last year with Brad's knee injury, yes, from hockey as well, I've been pretty darn upset at the prospect of having to go through anything remotely close to that.  It was just awful.  I was literally in tears Saturday morning not from the pain, but just from the realization I wouldn't be able to keep up my workouts (so ridiculous I know) and just the whole thought of going down that surgery road once again.  And then Brad started laughing and before I could punch him for laughing at me, he told me why he was laughing.  He realized last year he had surgery on his knee on my birthday and now, his birthday is only like three weeks away, and I really didn't have to go and do this to pay him back.  And then I laughed too.  And then I cried some more.  The doctor is hopeful its a sprain, as am I, with worst case scenario being a torn meniscus requiring surgery.  So, I'm on crutches and I'm having to say "No, I can't play with you" to my children once again which is ripping my heart into pieces.  When Blake is literally in tears because he wants me to play soccer with him and Brady won't play with him and he just wants someone to play with.... Ugh.  Anyways, just one day at a time.  Thankfully I have the most awesome husband who is way positive and keeps me on the positive line of thinking track more often than not. And most importantly is there to bring me ice packs and play soccer with Blake when he gets home from work.