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Well, after three doctor visits in three weeks, Blake finally seems to be feeling much better. Its hard trying to diagnosis what's going on with a baby since they can't really tell you how they're feeling and in a large part comes down to trusting your instincts. Even though Blake was fighting a bug in his tummy, he was still a happy baby and we've had a really fun last few weeks. The weekend before last was Brad's birthday. We enjoyed a night out with friends to dinner and to see the new Batman movie (greatness), laying out by the pool and a nice meal with our parents. Blake dressed in some fine looking duds for his daddy's birthday lunch...
For those of you that know us well, know that by Brad and I having a boy, it is a given for our son to grow up in a hockey rink. We often joke Blake will learn how to skate before he'll learn to walk. We are without a doubt a hockey family. Even though we see Blake's future in hockey skates, doesn't necessarily mean that Blake sees his future in hockey skates. But if this past Friday night is any indication of how Blake feels about the sport, he will be practicing his slap shot a few years down the road. While I've taken Blake to a few of Brad's hockey games since he's been born, we haven't actually gone inside the rink since its a little cold and he slept through his games anyways. However Friday night we sat inside the rink on the bleachers. Blake woke after the first period and sat the rest of the game on one of his "Auntie's" laps, not fussing once, intently watching the game in front of him. I have never seen my child sit for such a long period of time in the same position. He was completely fixated and loved every second watching his daddy win his game. 
Of course watching such an exciting hockey game would wear anyone out!
I have been on a mission the last few weeks, but have failed to complete it. I partially believe Blake is causing me to fail on purpose as a fun game. What is this mission? To capture Blake's smile on camera. Blake has been smiling more and more and it completely melts my heart and makes any rough patches completely worth it. I desperately want a photo of the sweet smile, however every single time I go to grab the camera and snap the photo it is gone. As soon as I am done snapping the photo, there is the smile again, then gone as soon as I try again. I really do think its a game to Blake, but I will keep trying and hopefully in the coming weeks I'll have a photo to prove to all of you just how sweet his smile is. In the mean time you can enjoy these other random photos of the boy.
Well, Blake has reached another first, although this one is nothing to celebrate. After only one week at daycare Blake picked up his first virus. Fortunately, Blake is still cooing and smiling and seems completely unfazed by the bug in his stomach. Mommy and daddy on the other hand are immersed in what seems like an endless number of icky diapers. We are all hoping this ends quickly and according to the doctor should be gone by the end of the weekend. I knew Blake would become more sick more often, being exposed to all the other babies and people in daycare, but I had no idea it would happen so quickly. I guess the positive that you have to take from the situation is his immune system will get built early in life possibly preventing many sick days once he starts school. Its been a rough week...with Blake being sick and just still trying to get used to being away from my baby all day and finding the energy to get through the days after not getting much sleep at night. I will keep repeating the mantra, "it will get easier, it will get easier". I'm sure some days and some weeks will be better than others, but this one I am more than ready to be over.
I have to admit, as much as I was complaining that baby would not come, it was kind of nice that he waited to the induction date because in true Brooke fashion I was able to go into the delivery of our little one having organized everything...hospital bags packed, house picked up and ready for our homecoming, last minute errands ran and a last meal with hubby before baby. We got to the hospital at around 7:30 and was hooked up to iv's and evaluated where they told me I had dilated another centimeter which was exciting. I got the pitocin and quickly after the doctor broke my water. Once that happened the progress of my labor was very quick. The contraction intensity multiplied tremendously and finally when the pain level became unbearable an epidural was ordered and after that I felt like a million bucks. At 2:00 I was told I was ready to start pushing. This is where things became really hard. I pushed for 2 long hours and was completely exhausted and didn't know how I could continue on. I was finding it hard to push the "right way" because I was pretty numb from the epidural. So they turned down my pain drip to allow me to feel the pushing. I think this might have been the worst idea ever. I know it was probably needed, but man alive! I pushed after that for another long exhausting hour at which point the doctor decided the baby's head was too large to get past with pushing alone and would need the help of forceps. This caused me to bawl as I was very scared of the forceps, but once the doctor had them in place Blake Logan Jones was born within minutes. It was the happiest moment of my life. They placed Blake on my chest and it was love at first site. 7 pounds 12.5 ounces and 20 inches long. He was perfect. He is still perfect! Where was Brad through all of this? By my side being the most amazing support. There aren't words to describe how amazing he was during my labor and how grateful I am for his support. I have so much love for Blake but my love for Brad has also grown exponentially. The support he's given me, to see him holding Blake and the love he has for his new son fills me with so much love for him.
It felt great to finally leave the hospital after being couped up in the same room for two days and to get back to our own home, in our own space. We decided to have my mom stay with us which we weren't originally planning on, but we felt a little overwhelmed and having her here with us for the past week, wasn't only appreciated but was completely needed. We had a rough start. I won't go into details but I was very sick and in a lot of pain and Blake had jaundice and had to go back to the hospital 3 days in a row to get his levels checked. It was a stressful and painful few days and between my mom and Brad, Blake was at least being able to be taken care of. I am so grateful to have had my mom here and don't know how I could have gotten through this time without her. Today was the fist day without mom here and at first I was scared, but I soon realized I am very capable of this motherhood business and now that I'm feeling better, I don't need the constant crutch of someone else here. Yes, I am sure at times I will still feel overwhelmed and things won't always be easy, but I can do this and with Brad and I working as I team we will do a great job at this.
I look at my son, holding him in my arms and all of the pain and tiredness is so completely worth it. He is amazing and perfect and I am so blessed to have him in my life. I want to soak every second with him in as I know time will pass by entirely way too fast. Blake really is my little miracle.
I should be sleeping, as its the last guaranteed night of uninterrupted sleep I am going to have for quite some time, but I have butterflies in my stomach and a million thoughts running through my head. Today my son will be born, how can I possibly sleep?! I can't help but look back at the journey that has led me to this moment. There were struggles to get pregnant and my pregnancy wasn't always easy, but the love I've had for this child even before he was conceived has always carried me through. The support of Brad has carried me through as well. Our last night as just a couple was really special and I'm grateful we were able to have some good quality time together. We have so much love for each other and so much love to give our son and I feel at peace knowing we are bringing him into such a loving home. My nerves I have today are because I above all want a healthy baby. But I am also nervous about the labor. I am hopeful because I am already so dilated that it will move quickly and won't be with complications. Brad will be by my side though so I know he will help me through any pain or scary moments. I am so blessed to be at this moment in my life. I am so ready to meet my son and am so ready to take on my next role in life...Mom.
