Parenthood

Tuesday my little Bray-Bray will be one year old. I continue to be amazed at how fast time goes by and how much I desperately want it to slow down. This past year has been one of the hardest years for me and at the same time the best. Yeah, I know I sound crazy, but its the truth. The best because Brady is such a sunshine in our lives, we couldn't imagine our family without him and I never knew I was capable of having so much love to give. I never knew being a mom could be as amazing as it is to be Blake and Brady's mom. The worst because I also never knew being a parent would involve so much heart ache and this past year has involved a lot of it. Watching your baby endure health issues is incredibly hard and I would give anything to take away all of Brady's issues...any pain he has...any of the tests he has to endure. We had yet another doctor appointment today with yet another specialist. She is in her words "very concerned". Brady had four vials of blood drawn today to test for an array of possibilities that could be at the cause of our concern for Brady. Watching your baby have that much blood drawn from his tiny little arm was heart breaking. Wondering if your baby has a chronic illness is heart breaking. I now have a long, long week ahead of me waiting for the results. I know I can't let myself worry until there is something to worry about. Easier said than done.
The flip side... tonight I said, "Blake who is the best mom in the world?" Blake said, "Blake's Mom!" More of these moments and maybe the next week won't be as hard.