Mute

Have you ever had a bad dream where you're talking but no one can hear you and no matter how much you yell or how hard you try to be heard no one listens? That bad dream has been my reality the last few days and I don't think there is anything more frustrating as a mom, than to feel completely helpless for your child in need and to feel your concerns are falling on deaf ears. At our appointment with the gastro last week, we found out that starting last Wednesday, she would no longer be taking our insurance. However, once we switch plans at the 1st of the year, she would be accepting that plan. So she told us, let's try putting Brady on Pediasure/Boost to get him to gain weight and try to hold out on doing anything further until the 1st of the year and if need be I'll refer you to someone else before then. Fine. Except not so much. Brady refused the Pediasure/Boost, refused Carnation Instant Breakfast per her recommendation and as of Friday starting refusing all liquids via bottle or sippy cup. We had a hard weekend with Brady, getting him to drink very little and even threw up which had me concerned about his reflux issues. He was eating table foods just fine. I called gastro first thing Monday. Suggested taking to pediatrician to get ears checked and if ears checked out agreed scope would be next step. Pediatrician said ears were clear, felt scope was a good idea and also pulled out Brady's blood work he was sent the gastro did last month and reviewed with me. Didn't know until yesterday that Brady is anemic. Yeah, gastro never mentioned that part. So talked to nurse, told her ped's findings and asked for referral. Nurse talked to doctor who said, well since you aren't on our insurance until the beginning of the year let's try to buy more time and increase Nexium from twice a day to three times a day and give it a week. Hung up phone...I lose it. Call Brad bawling, then call my dad crying. So frustrated. She'd rather not lose me as a patient than refer me out when we need to see someone?? So I decide to go around her, call another gastro, which happens to be the only other pediatric gastro group I can find on our insurance. First available appointment with the doctor is December, the first available with the physician assistant who can then refer us to surgeon if scope is needed is November 30th. Seriously people? Baby.not.drinking. This morning left message to see if pediatrician would call on my behalf to try and get us in sooner. No call back. Left message for gastro stating I can not afford anymore wait and see's and would appreciate a referral to another doctor since we can no longer see them for the rest of this year. Here is the conversation I had with the nurse when she called me back:
“I talked to Dr. ..... about your concerns. It can take up to a week for the Nexium to fully work. And you need to follow up with the feeding therapist immediately.”
“I have followed up with her already.”
“Well, I’m also going to fax all your records to Children’s so they have them. If you are worried about dehydration, follow up with your primary care physician.”
“Okay, well what about me following up with another gastro?”
“I’m faxing your records to Children’s. “
“But what if I want to get in to see another doctor, who do I call?????”
“I’m faxing your records to Children’s right now. They are the only other pediatric gastro group in the area and I will mark on the chart to call patient for appointment.”

Yeah, I totally feel like I'm in a room screaming and no one can hear me.