Worries

I think one of my biggest worries as the start of preschool approaches, has really nothing to do with how Blake will adjust, but how Brady will adjust.  Blake is Brady's security blanket.  He not only adores him, wants to play with him at all times, but wants to do anything he does, go where he goes, etc. etc. etc.  I have joked that I'll just hold Blake back two years so they can go to kindergarten together and be together forever and always.  Ha.  When we go to a playground or a birthday party or anywhere, as long as Brady has his brother to hang around, he's good to go.  So, I worry big time how Brady is going to handle dropping Blake off and then waving good bye.  I am predicting now, drop off is NOT going to be pretty.  Oh, Blake will be fine.  He'll sit in his chair and will wave good bye with a smile on his face.  I'm pretty confident of that.  It's Brady who will be laying in a ball on the floor screaming, who I'll have to pick up kicking and screaming to the car. 
This morning we all went to Blake's new school for "meet the teacher".  One of Blake's teachers greeted us at the door letting Blake know how excited she was to have him in her class.  As he shook her hand, he peered into the class room and literally started jumping up and down with excitement.  This boy is so ready to be back at school.  He's going to love it.  But Brady also loved it.  The two of them went straight for the play center where there was a pretend kitchen and table and chairs and proceeded to set up a cake with coffee to serve us.  Brady put on the oven mitts to help take the hot cake out of the oven.  Could they be any more adorable??  Brady did NOT want to leave.  I'm standing there thinking about how excruciating drop off is going to be for Brady (and me) next week and questioning if keeping Brady out of school another year is really what is best for him.  And then one of the little boys who will be in Blake's class walked up and started coughing.  And not just a little cough, but a nasty, sickly cough.  Brad and I gave each other a look.  We both were thinking the exact same thing.  A) Cold and flu season is going to not be fun with a kid in the school system B) Keeping Brady out of the direct fire for another year while he's still trying to catch up with weight and overall health is a really good idea and C) Good God I pray Blake doesn't bring home nasty nasty bugs that Brady catches and un-do all the progress Brady has made.  Ugh.
If you need me Monday, Wednesday or Friday afternoons through the school year, I'll be either washing my kids' hands or pouring Clorox over the entire house or burning the clothes Blake wore to school. 

Cowboy

Not only did we have a super fun Sunday, but we also had a blast at our friends' little girl's second birthday party on Saturday.  The boys had so much fun.  Brady really liked the cowboy look.  I think he pulls it off quite well.

Changes of the Heart

I spent almost the first three years of Blake's life being a "working mommy".  I had a full time job and my time with him was limited to evenings and weekends.  I always envisioned myself wanting to be a stay at home mom.  And then my job happened, and I loved it.  I couldn't imagine leaving it.  I enjoyed (most days or weeks) our routine.  I felt at times it made me a better mom because I was more "present" when I was at home with Blake.  I felt that Blake's school was so good for him.  And then Brady came along and his health journey changed everything.  My job changed too and I really didn't enjoy it so much anymore.  Or maybe my job didn't change as much, as I changed.  Trying to juggle two kids and a full time job is hard enough and throw in major health issues, a stressful work environment and forget about it.  My stress level was through the roof.  I was miserable.  I felt crazy amounts of guilt for being away from my babies, mostly Brady.  I could never truly focus on work.  Several of my higher ups made me feel like my job was always on the line for choosing my sick child over being at the office.  Meanwhile, Brady needed a full time advocate.  He needed to be away from germs.  He needed someone to focus on his diet all day long.  He needed someone to be able to journal and make note of his illness, behavior, food intake, diapers, etc.  He deserved a full time mommy.  So I finally was able to work through all the outside factors and decisions and made the leap.  I went from being the mom who was there a few hours with her kids at night before bed and on the weekends, to being there 24/7.  It was a HUGE change.  Since being at home full time, I've had some really hard days that have left me in tears.  I've also had some really amazing days.  Overall, I'm incredibly grateful for having taken that leap of faith to stay at home.  Most importantly, it has made a significant difference in Brady's health.  But its allowed me to witness so much in my children that I otherwise would have missed.  Its allowed me to provide for them in ways I otherwise would not have.  It has been a year and a half since Blake has been at school and next week he re-enters that world as a big, grown up preschooler.  I've been really excited all summer about his back to school debut.  The things he will learn!  The friends he will make!  And lets be honest...Time away!  A break from my super stubborn, strong willed guy!  

But as time gets closer my heart is hurting thinking of being away from him.  I've gotten pretty used to having him around me all day every day.  I've become pretty fond of our routine.  So for now my heart is glad that he'll only be gone three days a week.  We'll see how it's doing next week.  

Sunday FUN day.

These three boys make my heart so full.  Make me gush with love.  There are really just no words.  Sunday was a rockin day.  Brunch at our favorite spot with Grandma and Papa, then to the Science Museum where I watched Blake and Brady (and Brad) have the best time ever playing in the museum.  Followed by a show in the IMAX theater, which totally brought me back to my childhood going to the Omni Theater.  Watching the boys faces during the movie (about whales) was priceless.  I will say it again, my heart was just gushing with love all day watching them...so full of JOY.  Then off to buy new shoes for Blake's big week coming up starting preschool.  Then off to eat pizza and play video games.  I told you it was a rockin day!   

Out smarted.

I heart Pinterest for all the amazing ideas I find on there.  I also hate it for the same reason, but that's another post.  I saw an idea on there for our car ride to the beach, to gift wrap a bunch of little presents (think dollar store) for the kiddos to unwrap along the way, to encourage good behavior and to keep them busy to help the time pass.  Loved this idea.  We didn't need our buckets-o-fun on the ride to the beach since most of the trip the boys were sleeping.  But on the way back home, they were awake the majority of the trip, so out came the buckets.  They were a huge hit and I was patting myself on the back for being mom of the year.  And then...

Papa was "manning" the buckets, distributing the gifts as needed.  And then Papa took a phone call and the boys knew he was distracted. Smart and perceptive these boys are.  Some how they were able to reach their buckets and it was like Christmas morning in that car with wrapping paper flying in the air.  Tearing through present after present.  And I couldn't stop them.  I just stared at them laughing my booty off.  Buckets-o-fun not as effective when opened ALL AT ONCE!  But the boys were still ridiculously good the rest of the trip.  So good in fact, we'll be taking another LOOOONG road trip with them later in the year!  

The buckets that I spent so much time on and that were destroyed in seconds!

Life Lately.

Last week was a weird week.  Like super weird.  I'm really good at adjectives.  There was really sad stuff.  There was really happy stuff.  There was even scary stuff.  And even in the midst of all of that, life...it does go on.  And so, all the "in between stuff" I documented on my iPhone this last week.  Here ya go...

Storms rolled in one night and the thunder was super loud.  Our dog does not do storms.  I'm going to be completely honest and say that usually when it storms...I kind of want to kill her.  There is pacing.  There is jumping in and out of the bath tub.  (??)  There is jumping on top of me, usually on top of my head. (??)  If its the middle of the night, I will not get sleep.  I just won't.  But for some reason, this night Darcy jumped on the bed and a miracle happened.  She STAYED on the bed and snuggled right up against me.  She was happy and content and felt safe.  Something that NEVER happens with our crazy dog.  And it was really sweet and made me want to keep her another day.  

Computer time at the library.  Sweet brothers.  Notice Brady's crazy hair.  Haircut was soon to follow!

Nothing sweeter than a sleeping child...your sleeping child.  Am I right?!  This is Blake who had just finished an afternoon snack, head down, asleep, on our kitchen table.  Love him.  

My handsome Bray-Bray.  Seconds after haircut, provided by the best looking stylist I know...Brad.

And as a reward for Brady actually sitting still and having NO TEARS the whole family celebrated by getting shaved ice.  A wonderful summer treat.  The rest of the pics are of the refreshing-ness.  

Happy 36!

Before the clock strikes midnight, I have to get an anniversary shout out to my parents.  36 years!  THIRTY SIX!  Isn't it crazy how we go our whole loves not fully understanding what it takes to make a marriage work, especially while raising a family? And then you become an adult, get married and have kids of your own and you're like jeez.  I was such a brat sometimes.  I was so ungrateful sometimes (or a lot of the times.) I never really understood the sacrifices made or the commitment that my parents made to each other until I had kids of my own and while some days or years it was really hard for them, they never backed down.  They never walked away.  Because they have undying love for each other.  They have unconditional love for my brother and I.  I am beyond grateful for my parents and the love they share for each other.  Their love not only continues to provide so much happiness for me but more importantly my children.  My boys ADORE their Grandma and Papa.  Congrats Mom, Dad/Grandma, Papa on 36 years!  We wish you MANY MANY HEALTHY and HAPPY years to come!  

Yarrrr

This is Brady in the car on the way back from the beach.  The VERY long car ride back.  Although, the boys were absolute rock stars I have to say being in the car so long.  Brady wore this pirate hat the entire way home.  He wore it into any restaurant or gas station we happened to stop at along the way.  This cute little pirate got sick two days after we got home.  He was running almost a 104 fever for a few nights.  Poor pirate.  Not only has icky illness welcomed us back home, but some upsetting family news.  Devastating, life changing, family news.  Its been one heck of a week back to reality I must say.  Another reminder that life is SO precious.  And this cute little pirate that wants nothing but hugs and kisses from his momma when he's sick, help keep my heart full and the tears at bay.  Fever and all he was chugging along on the pirate ship he got for Christmas last year, wearing the hat of course and Brad said, "Oh, you're a pirate this morning!"  And his reply, "I'm not a real pirate."  I tell ya, this precious one makes it impossible not to smile.  

Gulf Shores Beach Trip - Part III, FINAL POST

The rest (or some of the rest) of our beach pics.  Such a fabulous week that our family will never forget.  Perfect amounts activity, relaxation and family bonding time.  I even got to start and finish two books.  Sitting on the beach or on the patio listening to the waves with a good book...is a little slice of heaven for me.  Blake and Brady were absolutely crazy over the ocean and the beach and was also greatness we had a pool they enjoyed.  Always good to be back home, in our own beds, but now I kinda wish I was back at the beach.  Must.win.lotto. so we can pack up and have a permanent beach vacation! 

Beach Trip Part II - Pensacola

My brother and I were born in Pensacola, about 45 minutes give or take from Gulf Shores.  My dad was raised there.  I spent many summers there growing up, visiting my grandparents.  I have so many memories there.  And of course my mom and dad and aunt have even more.  We made a day trip over to P'cola to visit the synagogue my grandparents were members of and where my grandpa served as a President and picture still hangs on the wall.  It is a place we all have so many memories of from when we were little and me and Adam especially wanted to show our spouses and show our kiddos as well.  

 Family's name still on the row of seats they used to sit in each week

 Torah holder my grandparents donated

 Close up shot of plaque on Torah holder

 After the synagogue we visited the greasy spoon spot, The Coffee Cup, where every one that used to work there knew my Grandpa and Nana and would ooo and ahh over my brother and I when we would come to visit.  Another place with loads of memories. Some of my grandparents old friends also met up with us here.  

And then we went to visit my Grandpa at the cemetery.  It is a Jewish custom to place a stone on the head stone of your loved one's grave as a symbol of your visit and that your loved one has not been forgotten.  My mom brought some nice stones from home to ensure we'd all have one.  We placed one on my grandpa's grave as well as other close loved ones buried there.  Blake, who has the sweetest heart I've ever known, asked my mom for another stone because he saw some one's headstone that didn't have any stones on it and wanted them to have one too.  Love that kid.